Ousted GearRead: 2 mins

Looking for Time

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I can’t tell you how much the emails, phone calls and even the Western Union telegram I received – inquiring about when the next Bitness posting will occur- have meant to me. My loyal readers are obviously in need of a Bitness fix. Before I can satisfy your yen for all things geek and tech, let me bring you up-to-date on the following weeks (since my last real post).

shelvesI have been juggling a wife, 2 kids, work, 4 freelance jobs, a vacation, 2 house building (cedar closet in progress, shelves to the right) projects (cedar closet became a club – gear needs a new home), Spring clean-up, bum knee and video to DVD archiving project (Sony RDR-VX555 – get it).

Queue the violins…
About the vacation/cruise. We missed the ship in Miami due to the Nor-Easter on 16-April. We flew to Miami, stayed overnight and caught the boat in Nassau the following day. That alone was a general disappointment and pain in the ass, but when you factor in the cab dropping us at the wrong hotel (and walking to the ‘nearby’ hotel dragging luggage), being assigned an uncleaned room, having my wallet stolen from the front desk of the hotel, having to cancel all the credit cards and put fraud protection on my credit… well you get the picture. Searching through garbage pails until past midnight and again at 5am in the morning was somehow not the vacation I imagined.

Cruising was an interesting experience. I think I might be one of the few people who actually lost weight on the cruise! Watching some of those people eat made us feel full – absolute gluttony. We made the most of it however and the wife even agreed to go para-sailing (here’s another)!

Hopefully after things settle down I’ll have time to dedicate to Bitness. In the interim I have been scoping out new topics and as always welcome your suggestions. Please stay tuned…

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CalendarRead: < 1 min

King of the Beat

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I don’t like to admit this, but in the deep dark recesses of my past life I used to break-dance. Baby swipes, knee spins, the worm, back spins – hell, even a little popping and locking – talk about a workout. No one could pretend swallow a foes head and throw it back up like I could.

But me and my partner never had skills like this, we couldn’t even windmill. One thing is sure, doing the worm in your thirties is dangerous business (unless you’re a bat-wolf), I nutted myself so bad a few years ago I quit cold turkey.

Give it up for the little people keeping it real in this big, big world…

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SoftrucksRead: < 1 min

Softrucks: Skate to Live

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Softrucks are so simple yet so clever that I kick myself for not thinking of them myself. Molded from TPU urethane (the same material used to make wheels), Softrucks are similar to the shape of a skateboard’s trucks and wheels and set at the same height. They mount to any skateboard deck using the provided hardware.

Softrucks

A deck with Softrucks feels identical to a regular deck only you ain’t going anywhere. Well, check that… maybe UP if you have the skills. They offer some good pop and don’t roll so practicing ollies, flips, shuvits, etc is easier and usually safer than on a ‘live’ deck. Once you can do a trick with Softrucks you’re virtually assured you can stomp it on wheels.

So here I am in my slippers, trying a heel flip and thinking the yacht, mansion, parties with Puffy and hanging out in the grotto with Heff’s girls will have to wait with the hopes I think of something so brilliant the next time…

Softrucks will run you about USD $25.00. Go out and get yourself some.

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Dog Powered ScooterRead: 2 mins

Keep Them Doggies Rolling

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The Dog Powered Scooter just might be an alternate mode of transportation for those lucky enough to have a job where the pooch can come to work. Imagine the faces on those suckers stopped in traffic, while you slip past on your Dog Powered Scooter sipping an organic soy latte – pure Milk Bone-generated power.

Dog Powered ScooterReported to be a combination of adrenalin, pleasure and exercise, the Dog Powered Scooter only needs a few kicks to get going, a pocket full of treats and one tongue-flapping dog. A reviewer measured his dog pulling 175 pounds at just 4-7 pounds of resistance. The dog I see dragging some lady around my block (sans-scooter) is easily pulling 25 times that and at a pretty good clip!

I admit, I’m intrigued. Problem is I don’t have a dog and while my 3-year-old daughter Elli would most likely be up for it, I’m making nice with the Bernese Mountain Dog across the street. For those of you with dogs, keep close tabs on them as gas prices increase or better yet, get the Globalpetfinder.

But what’s up with the lame product name? To be fair the Scootch was not an option and the Pooter is an even worse and might I say significantly off-color portmanteau. But certainly there is something more creative than ‘Dog Powered Scooter.’ I leave it to Bitness readers to come up with a new name in the comments. I see the Web stats people, I know you’re ‘here’ but let me ‘hear’ you. Best suggestion wins a Milk Bone.

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