The people at ROM stand-by their claim that 4 minutes a day on their CrossTrainer is all you need to stay in peak cardiovascular shape. A ‘lengthy technical explanation’ backs up this claim, but if you’re stubborn and still don’t believe them just have a read through all their marketing pain points. Whereas most companies would address these points behind the scenes and present you with cleverly written copy and glossy images, ROM lays it all out there in a flourish of humility.

The ROM will last 80,000 uses – that’s 219 years (the warranty will only get you 5-10 however, hmmm). ROM does the new math and came up with 250. In fairness they only recommend 4 days a week (equal to 15 minutes) but for $14,615 – I intend to get my money’s worth. After I re-mortgage my house and get one of these babies I’ll be breathing all the 60mlO2/kg/min that you no longer need because you already died… 130 years ago. I better get two so I can put the other in my vacation home on Mars.

Judging by their Web site, it doesn’t look like ROM has moved many CrossTrainers. Surely people have accepted their findings and were willing to lay down their $14,615 right? Can’t we raise enough money to buy ROM a paragraph break? No, my bad, it turns out those long paragraphs are an insanely clever intimidation tactic to dissuade the visitor from actually reading – pure brilliance.

If I only had 4 minutes for a workout, then clearly I don’t have time to read the Web site. But I suffered through it for you, my loyal readers who don’t have 1 minute to leave a comment (yeah, I said it).

I don’t claim to be an expert, just a guy with no particular interest to rush my workouts. I workout to relieve stress; the stress of rushing around and never having a moment to appreciate what’s around me. If you have a lot less time and a lot more money then go for it. After all the ‘described delivery/installation process goes very smoothly 85% of the time.’